The Bucket of Wet!

Changing my Life

Over the last couple weeks I have been dieting and going to the gym a lot!  

Everyone keep criticizing me for just getting up one day and being like "hey, today is the day I am gonna change my life."  But that's exactly what I did.  I have been so unhappy with myself for a long time I literally just said to myself that I was going to start going to the gym and eating right.  I have gone to the gym nearly everyday.  I do weights most of the days, but I skip them everyone once in a while to give my muscles a break.  I do at least 30 minutes of cardio...whether it be running, walking or biking.  I have felt so much better not only in attitude, but I feel accomplished every time I leave the gym.  

Along with the going to the gym, I have been eating really good, too.  I eat 5 or 6 small meals a day.  It is a technique that keeps your metabolism going throughout the day.  For each of the meals, I need to eat at least 15-20 grams of protein and cutting carbs down drastically.  When your body gets used to that, it will start to use protein for energy.  You want to make sure to eat a HIGH carb meal at least once every 7 to 10 days that way your body still knows to use that for energy as well.  If you avoid carbs too much, you use only protein energy and it is very low energy.  In short, that is bad for you.  I can't explain it, but my friend is a personal trainer and thats what he told me to do.  

I cannot eat breads, pastas, cereal or anything like that.  I can't have most fruits, no snacks...but that isn't hard because ever since I moved out a year ago I stopped buying junk food almost all together.  Some of the things I have been eating a lot of are egg whites, salmon, salads...things like that.

I have been trying so hard to keep on schedule with eating and having a life and still managing the gym everyday.  Yesterday, Sam called and woke me up.  She wanted me to go with her to this photo shoot.  Well, she had never met the guy and they weren't meeting at a studio, and to add to that it was in downtown Dayton.  Downtown isn't a friendly place, so I went with.  I ended up missing a couple meals on account of it...which you can't let happen.  When I told her that I would have to go soon, she got mad and starting criticizing that fact that I just got up one day and set my mind on doing this.  She was mad at me for it.  So, I yelled back.  I said "at least I am trying to do something about it.  You told me you wanted to go to the gym and stuff too, but you always bail and don't try."  She didn't say anything else, neither did I.

After that, I arrived home to a screaming brother.  He had stayed at my house the night before, and though he asked several times if I would get him something to eat somewhere, I said no.  We have plenty of food at my house and he wouldn't eat any.  He didn't want to cook and I wouldn't do it for him.  He got mad about that, then he tried to accuse me of kicking the dog!  When I protested against it (because I didn't do it) he yelled and said he heard me do it.  No matter how many times I told him I didn't kick the dog, he kept screaming at me that I did.  Then he called me a bitch and told me I have been mean to him since I started this whole thing.  The only reason he was being like that is because I refused to buy him food, and told him to cook for himself.  For Christ's sake, he is 18 years old!

But I think it is very important for me to not leave out the family and friends that are supporting me!  My cousin might give me a hard time about it a little, but when I said "hey, when I get skinny-er (hehe), and you're like damn I should have done that with her, then its your fault."  she said she knew that, and that is proud of me for what I am doing.  Although Sam gets mad for stupid reasons, she is happy that I am doing this too.  My mom, aunt and grandparents are happy.  I guess I can't leave Erik out, he is a personal trainer so he gave me some tips.  Most of all I am thankful for Bobby.  I think the breakdown I had a few weeks ago ultimately pushed me to do this.  He goes nearly everyday as well, so we talk about the gym frequently.  We are like a checks and balances system :D  He is so reassuring, and he gives me the will to not only stick with it, but to do this for me.  

Moving on.  Yesterday was fun.  I went to a birthday party for someone turning 18.  He is my cousin's cousin, but I am so close to my aunt's (by marriage) family, that he family seems like family.  I am around them all the time.  We had fun though, and I got caked in the face!  All I remember was turning around, and then Jamie shoved a handful of chocolate cake in my face.  I got her back with the chip dip :D  I passed out when I got home...didn't even change out of my clothes.  When I got up to take a shower this morning, there was chocolate cake in my bra! lol

I am off to go to a cookout for the holiday!  I'll try and update soon!

Sonnet I wrote for British Literary class

This sonnet is a biographical sonnet about Astrophil of Astrophil and Stella by Sir Philip Sidney.

Astrophil, worshiper of a star patrician

Lovestruck, anguished, poetic, eager

Servant to the Queen, once removed for opposition

Lover of Stella, taken, not at all meager.

He who feels want, desire and despair

Needs for his prospect to be lighted

He who fears the lack of reciprocity in the air

Would like nothing but to be requited.

He who feels such powerful emotions about another

Writes beautiful words with nothing to hide 

He lives to experience the love of the other

In hopes their hearts may speak side by side

But he knows that this can never be

For she is taken be decree.

This was so hard.  There were many things that had to be changed quite a bit so I am extremely proud of this!

 © Ashley Sanders, Wright State University

This sonnet was featured in an e-book alongside some extremely accomplished individuals.  I feel very fortunate to have to been asked to contribute.  You can find the e-book by going to the following link:

http://www.thinkingpoetry.com/community/showcase#sonetti

Updated September 28, 2009.

Why do I only update this when I'm bored?

I can't remember what I wrote about the last time that I got on here.  So, I'm just gonna write about a bunch of things that really aren't significant, and you probably don't care about.

Let's see.  I got a new phone.  My roommate switched from Sprint to Verizon so that he could get a blackberry, plus Sprint wasn't doing a very good job.  At the time, Verizon had this deal where blackberrys were buy one get one free.  So, I had my number switched over to Verizon from Cricket and I now have a blackberry :)  I love that my battery doesn't die after I make a phone call.  I love that I can access the internet everywhere I go, and that I have IM forwarding again.  I love that I get my email on it.  I delete it as I receive it, that way when I actually do remember to check my email online I don't have 700 emails.  

A little over three months ago I got this random IM from a Coho.  If you have never gotten one before, they usually have a name like RottonCoho or DigitalCoho or something like that.  Just random names.  What it is, is a sort of bot that will send you a random IM and when you reply to it, it forwards your IM to another "victim."  That person will see your screen name as another Coho name because each message is sent to the "coho database thingymajig" and then sent to the person.  Well, I got one and replied, which I usually don't because when you tell them you are real they don't believe you.  Apparently, this guy had gotten them before too and so we talked for a little bit.  He was very odd in the sense that he was talking in like riddles.  Well, not really but he wouldn't give me any straight answers.  He was coming up with ways to confuse me for his amusement.  It was really funny, though.  I had to leave for a while so I told him my real screen name and told him if he still wanted to talk, then he could IM me.  Later that night, he did.  We talked forever.  I finally found out the two things he was being so secretive about lol  Now, we have talked everyday since.  We text each other all day long, but have never actually spoken.  He tried to call me sometime last week, but it was at 2 am and I had just fallen asleep. When I got up I texted him and asked why he called thinking something was wrong.  He said he just called because he wanted to hear what I sounded like. We don't even know that much about one another.  We know first and middle names...but not last.  We know each others phone numbers and area that we live in.  We know a lot about each others characters than about stuff like favorites.  Although we do know those now too bc we got tired of not knowing and started questioning each other on it lol.  He is the first and last person I talk to everyday, and he is my best friend.  Usually I dismiss those stupid Coho messages, but replying to that one was the best thing I have done in God knows how long.  Just him being my friend has made me significantly more happy.  But, it is to the point that if something were to happen and I didn't hear from him, I would be completely lost.  I actually had a dream that other night that he didn't text me or answer my texts for a few days and so I called him and someone answered and said that he died in an accident and they wouldn't tell me his last name so that I could have flowers send and stuff.  I was really upset.  Then he texted and it woke me up from the dream, thank God, because I didn't know how much more of it I could take.   And wow, I really just talked about him for that long.

does anyone else have friends that they met online and only IM or text?